3 Tips to Boost Your Immune System

If you missed my webinar last night on the tips for boosting your immune system, here it is again.

This video is about 30 minutes long, so if you don't have time to watch it, here are is the outline of the top 3 tips:

Tip #1 Eat right and take good-quality supplements. What you consume creates an environment for health (or illness).

The food choices that make the biggest difference for me are eating lots of raw veggies and fruits, avoiding refined foods, avoiding sugar and drinking lots of water.

As promised in my last blog, here's my daily beet smoothie recipe:

• ½-1 chopped, raw beet (Don’t like beets? Substitute one cup of carrots)
• 1 Tbsp raw ginger
• 1 whole apple (I like Pink Lady the best for this smoothie)
• 1-2 frozen banana
• 1 cup  or more of beet greens/kale/spinach
• coconut milk or orange juice (creamier with coconut milk, sweeter with orange juice)
• 1.5 cups ice

Blend like crazy until smooth.

Tip #2 Move your body, but don’t exhaust yourself!

Exercise is great and feels so wonderful. Since getting sick I have found the two best exercises to support my immune system have been yoga and walking...but, the main key I’ve found is to get my pulse up and breathe a lot, but don’t push myself to exhaustion.

In a New York Times blog, several studies with mice and flu bugs showed that mice who exercised to exhaustion were so depleted in their T-1 immune helper cells that they were more likely to get sick than the mice who either rested or exercised mildly.

Tip #3 Rest and manage stress.

In today’s world, we tend to do things too hard. Taking time outs, breathing and generally listening to your body and giving it what it needs when you feel overwhelmed or overloaded. I've learned about that through experience.

To purchase doTerra oils, you can purchase them here — that site is also a great source for more information and a good health blog about essential oils.

If you have any questions about healthy living, feel free to post here.

Permission to Cross Things Off Your List

A blog devoted to over-achiever parents:
 http://elfontheshelfideas.com

A trendy new Christmas tradition for parents with young children has popped up. It involves purchasing a doll and book called The Elf on the Shelf. Apparently, this all-seeing-elf doll keeps an eye on kids during the daylight hours and flies home every evening to Santa Claus to report how each child is behaving. Someone came up with yet another way for parents to bribe kids (or scare them, perhaps?) into behaving like perfect little angels so come Christmas morning they will score more loot from St. Nick.

Creative parents even orchestrate scenes filled with intrigue, humor or mystery involving  their family elf. At recess on the days before winter break kids will talk about what their individual Christmas spies did that morning. It is the new thing. Conversation starters like, "How do you think my elf got into the fridge," or "What did your elf bring you," or "Is your elf a boy or a girl?" are heard in elementary schools all over our city.

A mom friend at work recently asked me if I participate in the Elf on the Shelf tradition at my house. She wasn't pressuring me, just gauging how committed I am to keeping up on the trends. After I told her I can barely keep up with my Tooth Fairy duties, she confessed how many times she has woken up in a state of panic that her kids would wake to an elf that had not moved. She lived in fear that neither she nor her husband had moved the cherubic goody two shoes the night before…and wished, out loud, that she had never caved in to getting one.

No one should ever be in a panic over moving a doll or anything else that isn't truly an emergency. In fact, I copied a quote on a Post-It™ years ago to which I refer to when things get hectic, or when my nine-year-old asks why we don't have an Elf on the Shelf.

"Reduce life down to what's precious and the necessary. In a world of complexity, the best weapon is simplicity."

Learning to reduce is a challenge. Asking yourself what is precious and what is necessary frequently presents a tough choice. However, those tough choices become easier with time. I rarely choose an outside activity on a weeknight after a day at the office when I can instead spend time with my family. Spending time with family always takes precedence.

At the end of your life, are you really going to feel bad if you didn't try every recipe you pinned on Pinterest? Are you going to wish you had handmade more neighbor gifts for every holiday? Will you pine over all the stuff you never had?

As the New Year kicks off, think of the most important things, not just things to add to your "stuff to do" checklist. Whether eliminating things like the Elf on the Shelf, or not participating in every activity to which you're invited (whether you want to go or not), start thinking about what's precious and what's necessary and wield your sword of simplicity proudly.

My Non-Negotiable: Family Dinner

When asked to name one of my strengths recently, my oldest daughter told me, "you always make sure we have healthy food and that we always eat dinner together." I never thought that was a strength.  I assumed that family dinner happened nightly for most families. After asking my girls about their friends' families I found out that it was a rarity, not the standard. 

What? 

Is it true that families don't eat dinner together these days? Are people in such a hurry in their lives that they can't make the time to gather and sit down at a family meal anymore?

Although our dinner time fluctuates from day to day based on what activities we have, I make sure that my kids know dinner time is family time and therefore sacred time. We aren't allowed to have any electronic devices at the table. If your phone buzzes or rings, you're not allowed to pick it up. Crazy, but good.

Dinner time is different than any other meal. We start with a quick read from the scriptures and a kneeling family prayer. We take turns listening to each other. Everyone talks about their day, if they want to share. We ask about their favorite part of the day and usually have a few good laughs. We discuss current events, social situations, difficulties at school or work, small successes, funny stories and plans for the future. Some of our favorite times happen after everyone is finished eating, but stays at the table because we're having such a good time together. Those moments are golden.

Most of the time it's not perfect, though. Often we have interrupting, kicking, poking, shoving, crying, stealing food from someone else or taking seconds without asking if anyone else wants more. Family life at its finest.

But, we keep trying.

Family dinner time is the best opportunity to teach my kids how to be gracious, polite, kind, patient, tolerant and well-mannered people.

Kids need their parent's undivided attention more than ever these days. Dinner time is the best time to do that. No TV, no smart phones, no distractions — just a good meal with those we love best in the world.

Do you have family dinner? If not, why?

How to Kick Adrenal Fatigue to the Curb

I don't get stressed on family vacations anymore!

It's been nearly a year since my diagnosis of adrenal fatigue. I blogged about it here and have been plugging along through the last ten months trying to get over it.

If you get dizzy when you finish a workout, or when you stand up. If you're tired all the time. If you get really cranky in the evenings. If you can't get up in the morning after eight hours of sleep. If you feel like you're going to have a melt down if one more person asks you for something ("Mom! I neeeed...") If you have no motivation to do anything. If you feel old and beat up. Well, sweetheart, you might have adrenal fatigue. My doctor calls it "Mom Syndrome." Hmm...I wonder why?

Here's what worked for me:

• Patience, and lots of it. Exercising patience with my body and the healing process were difficult when the months dragged on and I could see myself getting more and more out of physical shape... That was hard. I knew, though, that if I pushed myself hard again, I'd relapse and take even longer to get well again.
• High-quality vitamins. The kinds I took were: pharmaceutical grade fish oil, with a balance of EPA and DHA that is 2-to-1; food-based multivitamin; 1000mg of vitamin C; and an adrenal support supplement. These are all available at your local health/natural food store. I buy mine at Whole Foods on Tuesdays for the 10% off. 
• Alternating adrenal support vitamins: The adrenal support supplements I found best were Holy Basil and Licorice Root. My doctor originally recommended Ashwaghanda, but I didn't notice a significant improvement until I started taking the Holy Basil. He also told me that these supplements are adaptogens, which means your body gets used to them and they aren't as effective if you don't alternate. What I did was take Holy Basil for 35 days and Licorice Root for five days. That was what worked the best. I also took PharmaGABA, a natural supplement that produce alpha brain waves (the same ones your brain produces when it's relaxes, yet alert). The PharmaGABA was something I'd take when I knew I was going to be under stress, or when I was starting to feel stressed.
• Rest. Getting to bed as early as possible and sleeping in as late as possible was, and still is, my quest. That has been really difficult, since I live with four lively girls (two of which are teenagers and don't really honor the whole "bedtime" rule very often).
• Meditation and prayer. This helped me stay calm and patient, but most of all it helped me stay the course. I'm always happier when I talk to God and clear my head on a regular basis.
• Extra help. Asking people to help out a bit more was also tough, but it took the stress off. That's what I needed — less stress.
• Saying "no" more. When there are activities, parties, meet-ups, conferences and all sorts of volunteer opportunities, I was always the first to say I'd participate. That had to end. It felt like I was missing out at first, but I soon realized my life was a lot more manageable and simple when I eliminated all the extras. I have been able to focus more on my family, too. 

I can finally say that I've kicked adrenal fatigue and I'm feeling better than ever. I'm even signed up to do a short women's triathlon next month. Getting back in the game is making me crazy excited. This time, I'm listening to my body, though. I'll be focusing more eating right, sleeping more and enjoying my good health. 

Missing Daddy

The best conversations with my toddler happen while she's, um...on the potty. Here's what she told me the day her daddy left for a trip.

Tapas for Toddlers

Toddlers are a riddle. Their moods and tastes seem to change frequently making meal time with toddlers a conundrum. Preparing food for a toddler is something of a guessing game. Most of your hard work can end up on the floor rather than in their tummies. Until now. I've found the best way to satisfy the pickiest of eaters is to offer a healthy variety in what I call tapas for toddlers. Getting a little one to eat their meal is less of a struggle and more like a fun-filled adventure when there are plenty of choices.

I came up this idea because of the changing tastes of my toddler and I'll keep tweaking it based on her preferences. You never know what your child is going to like. Why waste time making a big meal only to find it on the floor or worse (body paint, anyone?). The idea is to notice which food choice they gobble up fastest. Here are some ideas for tapas for toddlers:

• carrots
• raisins
• walnuts
• almonds
• crackers
• bite-size peanut butter and preserves/banana sandwiches
• snap peas
• apple slices
• orange slices
• lunch meat
• pretzels
• dried apricots
• bite-size cinnamon toast
• cucumbers
• beans (e.g. garbanzo, kidney, white beans, etc.)

Normally with the example in the photo, she'd go for the strawberries first, followed by the meat. Today, she went straight for the snap peas (see photo), followed by the oranges. The meat and the yogurt were a big fail. Guess we'll be striking those from the menu for a while. I'd love to hear about your experiments with tapas for toddlers. What works for your little ones?

Lessons in Motherhood

In the 16 years that I've been a mother, I've learned a few things.

• You may not get publicly acknowledged for your excellent work at home, but once in a while you'll go to bed truly happy and satisfied for the loving service you gave your family.
• You'll never know as much as your teenagers. Ever.
• Your children are precious beyond any job you could ever hold.

 What motherhood lessons have you learned?

How to deal with pre-teen hormones, and braces — at the same time

My sweet and quirky daughter, Lucy just started seventh grade this year. She's been begging for braces and hoping for breasts. If she reads this, she'll kill me.

I can't hasten the breast fairy, but I can do something about her teeth.

Tip 1: Make decisions based on things within your control.

By a happy coincidence, one of my college friends is a practicing orthodontist. Before he was Glen Bills the uber-professional teeth straightener who now has more letters behind his name than I ever will, he was my college buddy and most recently my Facebook friend

We came into his office to discuss Lucy's mouth. He talked about palatalexpanders and shifting teeth around and I got nervous. Lucy got excited. Our next step was to set an appointment for Dr. Bills' staff to take “impressions” of her teeth and to put spacers in. I didn’t think Lucy needed more space in her teeth, since she had a big gap between her front ones. Dr. Bills explained that spacers are little rubber bands squished in between her back molars to make room for the palatal expander.

Lucy said the spacers made her feel like she had a big chunk of food stuck in between her back teeth —uncomfortable and annoying (one of her favorite words). I gave her ibuprofen and hoped she wouldn't yank them out. 

Tip 2: Choose your battles. Sometimes that means trusting that your pre-teen will do the right thing.

A week later, she would get her braces. I was nervous, and so was she. This is the kind of kid who gets irritated if her nails are too short or her sweater is itchy. The thought of having her cope with wiring (especially the palatal expander) in her mouth made us both anxious.

When we arrived and everyone seemed genuinely excited to see Lucy and that put us both at ease. She brushed her teeth for the third time that morning and settled in. Aubrey, one of Dr. Bills’ assistants took the impressions and prepared the brackets on her teeth. Dr. Bills placed and adjusted the brackets, then fine-tuned them to make sure everything was set for optimal straightening.

An hour and a half later, Lucy left with a metal mouth. She seemed happy and even told me how nice Dr. Bills smelled. 

The next three days were pretty rough, though. She was pretty uncomfortable and couldn't bite down on anything. I stocked up on pudding, cup o' soups, and ingredients for smoothies. She alternated between sullen and sobbing to cranky and snappy. What's the difference, you ask? Not much, except neither mood is fixable by a parent. 

Dr. Bills called to check on her. He said her mouth tenderness was typical and would subside gradually. He also told me to alternate ibuprofen and acetaminophen. Lucy, in her typical melodramatic was convinced I had sadistically subjected her to this suffering. 

Tip 3: Have a sense of humor and learn to ride out the false accusations hurled at you.

A day later, her mouth felt fine and she was telling me all about her other friends and their braces, how they had callouses inside their cheeks and that was cool. I can already see how much straighter her teeth are and she knows that's making her even more pretty. So, straight teeth or bust — I guess it’s straight teeth for now.

Mmmmm, Bread

I still don't eat white sugar...but, I recently rediscovered a bread recipe given to me by my older sister. I tweaked it a bit to make it a bit more healthy (but, it's still bread and it uses white flour, so it will still pack on the pounds if you eat too much). If you haven't closed your window from that last parenthetical statement, here is the recipe. This works best if you have a Kitchenaid or another mixer with a powerful dough hook.

This recipe makes enough to make all or several of the following:

bread
cinnamon rolls
pizza crust
bread sticks


3.5 cups hot water
1 Tbsp yeast
1/3 cup agave
1 Tbsp + 1 tsp sea salt
2/3 cup canola oil
7 cups unbleached flour
1 cup wheat germ
1/2 flax meal

1. Dissolve yeast in 2 cups of the hot water. Make sure the water is about bath-water warm, not too hot.
2. Add remaining ingredients one by one, while mixing (including the 1.5 cups of warm/hot water), until they form  a ball. The dough will still be slightly gooey and may stick to the sides of the bowl.
3. Remove dough hook, cover with a towel, and let it rise for 40 minutes.
4. Punch down and let it rise for 20 minutes.
5. Divide into fourths.

Each fourth is good for cinnamon rolls, pizza dough, a loaf of bread, bread sticks, etc. Freeze dough or store in the fridge.

Bake at 350 degrees.
Bread sticks and cinnamon rolls: 20 minutes
Pizza dough: 17 minutes
Loaves of bread: 1 hour

Fresh, warm-out-of-the-oven, homemade bread. Is there anything better on a cool, rainy fall day? Maybe if you have no where to go, no kids to corral or fetch, and a quiet house, you could even eat your warm bread in peace. This is what I wish for all the busy mommies out there.

How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New School

My second daughter started at a new school this last year. She was in 6th grade. The only friend she had was a neighbor girl who was in 7th grade. After the initial coolness of being the new girl wore off things got hard. She didn't know anyone in her grade and the school was small. Most of the friendships were already established making it difficult for her to break in to a friend group. Her older friend didn't seem to have much time for my daughter.  She felt lost.

As a result, her report card got progressively worse and she felt more and more inadequate. The further behind she got in her school work the more hopeless she felt. She finally just gave up,  rationalizing that it was too late to turn things around.

Next year I'll know the things I wish I had known this year. Next year, I'll be a better support for her. I know she'll do better too, because she's the kind of girls who can't stand to be bad at something.

Whether your child is starting kindergarten or just changing schools (elementary to junior high or junior high to high school counts), here's my advice for parents with a child starting at a new school:

• Get to know the teachers and school administrators. When there are problems (and there will be), they'll already know you and the conversations will be more productive.
• Be patient. The transition will take a good year for everyone to get adjusted.
• Your child may exhibit uncharacteristic behavior in a new situation and with a different social setting. Expect that you'll need to be more available for them with extra love and a listening ear. Don't always rush in to fix a situation. Let them try. If it seems like it won't turn around, step in carefully and let them know.
• Create a schedule for your child to include homework time, reading time, and chilling out time. The consistency in their after-school schedule will help balance out the unsteadiness they feel in their school schedule.
• Make sure they feel your confidence in them. Ask them if there is one thing they are nervous about and listen. Encourage them and tell them how proud of them you and that you'll be there for them if it gets rough.

Change can be difficult, but you and your child can learn to work through it together. If you have a child starting kindergarten, check out this post I wrote for KidSteals.com.

Good luck!

You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream for ....acid reflux?

After three babies, I thought I was an expert. Quieting them? Easy. Swaddling them? A snap. Burping them? No problem. Nursing them? Cake walk.

But, acid reflux? What?

My fourth baby (now 19 months old) came into this world with a proclivity to puking up everything and screaming. All. The. Time. That acid reflux was my arch nemesis. I didn't get any sleep and I'm sure my hearing was damaged from holding a screaming baby on my shoulder. Oh, and the laundry! Getting barfed on repeatedly was a frequent occurrence.

After two months of pure hell, I finally talked to the pediatrician and my sister (she's had six babies and is married to a naturopathic physician). Here's what I found to finally that worked:

• Prevacid for babies. My doctor prescribed this and although it wasn't an end-all cure, it did help the baby sleep longer.
• Mag Phos (which stands for Magnesium Phosphate). This is a homeopathic tablet and dissolves in baby's mouth. I gave her about two tablets every four hours. I picked it up from Whole Foods. You can also use it for common upset tummies and menstrual cramps, so it's good to have a bottle around the house.
• Baby swing. The sitting up position worked wonders for her and kept my arms from fatiguing. I tried wearing her in a sling, but because newborns don't have the core strength to hold themselves erect, her stomach would get compressed, which would cause the acid to come up and make her scream more. (My sister said she had her babies with reflux sleep in the swing for the first six months of life! Whatever it takes to get them relief and you some sanity. Right?)
• Waiting for about 15 to 20 minutes after feeding before putting her down on a flat surface. This helped to prevent both the puking and the screaming.

If you have a baby with acid reflux, remember they will grow out of it and there are loads of moms who have dealt with (or are currently dealing with) it.

Be strong.

Venting About Kids

Being a mother is a lot of work and you can never truly take a day off. Even Mother's Day isn't really a day off. Your kids are still bound to need diaper changes, baths, reminders to be nice to their sister, hugs, reminders to empty the dishwasher, etc. So, how do you go day in and day out for 18+ years without so much as a mother-of-the-month plaque or paid time off? How do we let out all that pent up steam from this tough job?

A lot of moms vent. Guilty.

If I have a child who is driving me nuts and I don't know what to do, I whine to a friend, neighbor, stranger in the grocery store — anyone who will validate my frustrations or my choice of parental punishment. I'm not sure that those venting sessions truly solve the problems. It might make me feel a bit justified for the moment, but that feeling is only temporary, though. I still have to live with the kid who pooped through outfit number three in one day/lost my favorite shirt, brought home an F on her report card, shut her sister's hand in the door for the second time in 30 minutes, won't stop screaming and let me sleep, etc.

Here are a few reasons I have to remind myself about for not venting to others in the heat of emotion about my kids:

1. Those people to whom you vent might form a negative impression about your child based on your ranting, which could create problems for that child later on. The analogy I think of is one I got from Dr. Laura — never complain about your husband to your mother. You may forgive and forget, but your mother (bless her heart) may judge your husband by that one conversation for years.  The same holds true for people your child knows (or will know eventually).
2. Your child may hear you. This has happened to me a few times. My child hears me saying something about them to a friend or family member and they are hurt. I don't know how to repair that kind of trust breakdown other than ask them to forgive me and try not to do it again. 
3. You're teaching poor coping skills to your child. If you don't deal with problems directly, how will your child? If you discuss a frustration about someone with everyone else but that person, you can often make the situation much worse. Dealing directly with the problem is tough, but something all children (and grownups) should learn to do. I want my kids to learn this skill for their school-aged problems before they get into more real-world problems.
4. It's not nice. This is probably the most important one. Kids are real people, too. Even if the baby can't understand you, it's best not to complain about their behavior incessantly. Asking for help for something is totally acceptable and necessary even, to get feedback on how to improve. But, we need to treat our little ones (and even our big ones -- teens are sometimes the hardest) with kindness and respect we expect them to show us and others. 

Gosh. I better start practicing what I'm preaching here. Maybe I'm blogging about this so all of you will hold me accountable. This parenting thing is a daunting occupation. 

I Hate You!

"I hate everything about you!" My 12.5-year-old daughter yells at me at least once a week. At first, I was crushed. Now I inwardly laugh and pray this emotional craziness ends soon. If you have a girl and you thought you were done with tantrums after the terrible twos, you may be in for a rude awakening. I certainly was.

I have four daughters and this is number two. I know I'll go through some form of this kind of separation/hatred with two more and I have started to build a thick skin.

My friend Julie Hanks told me at lunch one day that girls have a much harder time with their mothers than boys do. She said something like they are conflicted. At the same time they look up to their mother and don't want to be anything like her at times. I remember those feelings, but it's been a while. I see my own daughters trying to become their own women and identifying with the woman their mother is, too. I guess that includes telling me off once in a while.

I've learned it's best to just let them vent and struggle while keeping a consistent, calm and solid presence. Let them mock and fight, sass and pout — I won't get emotionally drawn in. When I feel my blood starting to to boil, I try to physically or mentally walk away. "Disassociate," says my husband, when the teen or tween start to rant at me. That's the best way to diffuse their fuse.

No Boring Days

 Remember what it felt like to be bored?  Boredom like you felt as a kid vanished as your life gradually got busier and busier. We now have so many things to do; we can’t possibly be bored. Time was a luxury of the past. As a child, when I complained about being bored, my parents would always tell me to do “something constructive.”

Women change the world around them with their positive, constructive actions. Their work helps others. My mother brings her friend with Alzheimer’s to the store and drives her to appointments so she won’t get lost or forget how to get home.  A neighbor’s blog about her kids inspires me to keep better records of my own children’s growth. A friend pitches in to help a family in need who can't afford to buy school clothes for their kids.

When there’s a job to be done, women do it. The 17th century poet, Christina Rosetti said, “Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes; work never begun.” Whatever your purpose, whatever is worth fighting for in your life — join with the women all around you and get to work. Work that makes a difference will never be boring.

The Job I Love

I recently made a job change and it was pretty big. I'm sure there are those who thought I was crazy to leave a job that might have appeared to be the stopping place in a career. But, looks are often deceiving.

I'm now the marketing director for Steal Network. "Founded by Jana Francis and Rett Clevenger, Steal Network is an interactive marketing company that delivers top quality brands and products one-day-at-a-time to their communities of women through the websites BabySteals.com, ScrapbookSteals.com and KidSteals.com, KidCrawl.com and many more to come." This exciting company is a little over three years old and growing rapidly. I love being part of the team.

Here's the short list for why I love Steal Network:

• Everyone plays to win. Employees have their eye on making the company better and more profitable. Imagine that? How refreshing.
• No micro-managing. This is incredibly liberating. Everyone is in charge of where and what they spend my time on. Results are expected and everyone delivers.
• Family values. I don't feel looked down upon when I mention I have to leave to pick up children or attend a softball game.
• Opposite of corporate, but completely professional. 
• They love babies and kids. I have been in more meetings with where co-workers have their baby or small child with them (or I can hear their baby or small child over the speakerphone) than I have been in without them — and no one rolls their eyes or acts like it is out of the ordinary or unacceptable. That is a totally new world for me.
• Listening. They are open to their employees input and suggestions. They don't just say they listen, they actually do! In the past few weeks the owners themselves have conducted the yearly reviews, sometimes spending upwards of an hour with each employee.
• Approachability. My bosses are extremely intelligent, but never intimidating — plus they're innovative and hardworking.They're authentic and fun to be with, which makes our meetings such a pleasure to attend.
• Their motto is: We Send Joy — and they mean it. The women they serve are overwhelmingly delighted with the service, product, and experience. Amazing.

If you haven't checked out the steals they offer daily, head over and sign up for their email. You'll thank me later for all the money saving I'm helping you with here.

BabySteals.com - This is the place to get all the latest and greatest baby gear for tots under 2. If you frequently go to baby showers, but don't have any kids under 2, this place will help you get the perfect shower gift every time.

KidSteals.com - This site showcases everything your preschoolers and school-aged children need. Every day is different with kids. This site keeps you ahead of the curve.

ScrapbookSteals.com - I'm not a scrapbooker, but I enjoy this site for the creative mama moments I often have with (or without) my kids. Need something to make those invitations stand out? This is the place. Looking for an idea for a summer craft? This place has it all.

KidCrawl.com -  If you're a bargain hunter and you're looking for a specific baby or child product, check this site first. You'll be able to see thousands of mom reviews on products, where to get the best price (with links to those sites), and when the product typically goes on sale. You'll also find a community of moms eager and willing to answer your questions about anything and everything relating to raising babies.

Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent Steal Network’s positions, strategies or opinions.

Public Service for Blind People

My six-year-old made an astute observation tonight as she was experimenting with the goofy glasses I got on a whim at a consignment store.  She said as her eyes squeezed shut, "I know why blind people can't see."

When asked why, she firmly stated, "They just need to open their eyes."

Baby Food, continued

Today I guest blogged at my friend Evonne Sell's blog all about baby food. I don't think moms should waste their money on opening a jar for their babies. There are so many reasons to make your own baby food. I'm not interested in feeding my baby something out of a can/jar/box because:

1. It's prepackaged and therefore, not fresh.
2. Have you tasted the stuff?
3. There are no spices.
4. Soon enough, your kids will be complaining about your cooking and you'll be tempted to take off a la Nacho Libre to find a better "duty," so you might as well give your baby healthy foods they enjoy.

Favorite Read-Aloud Children's Books

One Morning in Maine by Robert McCloskey
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have a tattered paperback version of this book from my childhood. I would read this book and imagine I was the older sister, losing my tooth on the beach in Maine. It wasn't an outlandish fantasy — I grew up in Maine. I can almost taste the salty air and hear the loon laughing when I read this book to my children. I fell in love with this book as a child and I love it even more now that I have kids.


View all my reviews

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book always makes me cry a little. But, in a good way. I'm convinced, that if more people read this book and were as generous as this tree, there would be a lot more happiness.

View all my reviews

Squids Will Be Squids by Jon Scieszka

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is a hilarious book. The illustrations are intricately repulsive. You'll want to read it again after you put the kids to bed.

View all my reviews

The Diamond in the Window by Jane Langton

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I read this book when I was in grade school. It was fantastical and imaginative. It made such an impression on me that, to this day, I can still remember how fascinated I was while reading it. I want to read it again!

View all my reviews

The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love/Hate

I got into it with my teenager last night. She sassed, I yelled, she screamed, I swatted, she kicked and promptly slammed her door in my face before I could react. 

Defeat.

Sure, I love that kid. She's funny, musically talented, beautiful and a great big sister (most of the time). But, sometimes I feel like putting her out with the dirty diapers and orange peels. When she sasses me, bosses her little sisters, nags, points out other's flaws and generally acts like a narcissistic brat, I have to hold myself back from utterly losing my mind, or worse, saying or doing something to her that I'll later regret.

When I first became a parent, other moms would say stuff like, "Wait until she becomes a teenager." Those helpful hints made me so nervous and scared that I'd hate my daughter once she turned 12 or 13...and, now I'm wondering if I sometimes do hate it because I was forewarned.

Why is it that we seem to want to scare other moms about parenting teens/tweens? Do we feel like we'll prepare those naive moms for the mind-melting, gray hair-raising days ahead? Telling other moms how tough it is might make us feel validated, but it could be doing more harm than good.

Putting new moms on guard for their potentially nasty teenagers doesn't help that future relationship between child and parent, it weakens the bond. Complaining about your teenager doesn't really make you feel any better. If your teen overhears you talking about them, you may have just damaged your relationship with them even further.

Teenagers wish adults weren't so negative about them. I remember feeling that way as a teen. Maybe teenagers need the same understanding and patience given to babies. Sure, it's easier to be patient with a baby, they can't tell you you're a horrible mom. So, what if we changed the way we (parents of teens) talk about raising our teenagers?

By referring to parenting teens as difficult, are we just setting ourselves up for future problems? If I didn't know they would be tough, would I approach interactions with my teenagers differently? Would I react to the moodiness, sassiness, and laziness any differently than I treat my baby who won't eat the food placed before her? How does one cope with the barrage of frustrations over teenagers? Should we bottle it up or find other ways to discuss possible solutions (and believe me, I've considered sending her to military school)?

Stories Untold

One of my inspiring friends, Julie Hanks.

Women inspire me. Maybe I'm sappy, but I thoroughly enjoy watching, listening, and crafting stories about real-life women. Their resilience, persistence, grace and humility are sometimes too much for my tear ducts to take. I don't ever grow tired of their stories. There's always something in them we need to hear.

Today I interviewed the four honorees and overall winner for the magazine's big award luncheon we hold every year. These women have so much quiet strength, I felt uplifted just by being in the same room with them. Hearing their stories, what inspires them, what keeps them going through tough times (cancer, homelessness, disability, paralysis, to name a few) brought me to tears. A tangible sisterhood enveloped us. We laughed at our similarities and cried over losses. We discovered, too, that we're all going through similar experiences, just at different seasons.

Heart ache.

Uncertainty.

Falling in love.

Moving away.

Living on nothing.

Staying up way too late.

Confusion.

Morning sickness all day.

Unconditional love.

Fat pants.

Piles of laundry.

Crying at the kindergarten door.

Office politics.

Snotty noses.

Piles of laundry.

Financial crises.

Working late.
 
Defeat.

Squeezy hugs.

Pure joy.

Seemingly endless fatigue.

Happiness.


When we feel the overwhelming feeling like no one understands us, reach out to a girl friend, sister, neighbor or stranger and ask her about her story. Interview her. Ask her about her life and what she's learned. Chances are you'll not only stop feeling alone, you'll learn something and you'll make her feel loved. If you ask enough and dig deep enough you'll find a story which will inspire you. Each woman's story is meant to be told. What's yours?

I'd like to tell your story. Contact me at pamelabaumeister[at]gmail.com and I will.