Permission to Cross Things Off Your List

A blog devoted to over-achiever parents:
 http://elfontheshelfideas.com

A trendy new Christmas tradition for parents with young children has popped up. It involves purchasing a doll and book called The Elf on the Shelf. Apparently, this all-seeing-elf doll keeps an eye on kids during the daylight hours and flies home every evening to Santa Claus to report how each child is behaving. Someone came up with yet another way for parents to bribe kids (or scare them, perhaps?) into behaving like perfect little angels so come Christmas morning they will score more loot from St. Nick.

Creative parents even orchestrate scenes filled with intrigue, humor or mystery involving  their family elf. At recess on the days before winter break kids will talk about what their individual Christmas spies did that morning. It is the new thing. Conversation starters like, "How do you think my elf got into the fridge," or "What did your elf bring you," or "Is your elf a boy or a girl?" are heard in elementary schools all over our city.

A mom friend at work recently asked me if I participate in the Elf on the Shelf tradition at my house. She wasn't pressuring me, just gauging how committed I am to keeping up on the trends. After I told her I can barely keep up with my Tooth Fairy duties, she confessed how many times she has woken up in a state of panic that her kids would wake to an elf that had not moved. She lived in fear that neither she nor her husband had moved the cherubic goody two shoes the night before…and wished, out loud, that she had never caved in to getting one.

No one should ever be in a panic over moving a doll or anything else that isn't truly an emergency. In fact, I copied a quote on a Post-It™ years ago to which I refer to when things get hectic, or when my nine-year-old asks why we don't have an Elf on the Shelf.

"Reduce life down to what's precious and the necessary. In a world of complexity, the best weapon is simplicity."

Learning to reduce is a challenge. Asking yourself what is precious and what is necessary frequently presents a tough choice. However, those tough choices become easier with time. I rarely choose an outside activity on a weeknight after a day at the office when I can instead spend time with my family. Spending time with family always takes precedence.

At the end of your life, are you really going to feel bad if you didn't try every recipe you pinned on Pinterest? Are you going to wish you had handmade more neighbor gifts for every holiday? Will you pine over all the stuff you never had?

As the New Year kicks off, think of the most important things, not just things to add to your "stuff to do" checklist. Whether eliminating things like the Elf on the Shelf, or not participating in every activity to which you're invited (whether you want to go or not), start thinking about what's precious and what's necessary and wield your sword of simplicity proudly.

End-of-Year Review

Doing a year-end review is eye-opening. Loads of wonderful things happened in 2012:

The toddler was successfully potty trained.

We took a fun family vacation to Tucson and Phoenix, Arizona for spring break.

My best friend from childhood visited me and we spent a weekend at Snowbird, including a day at the Cliff Spa.

Our family travelled to Chicago for two weeks.

I started running and triathlon training again and competed in my first triathlon after adrenal fatigue.

I painted a lot more and started sharing my art with people on this blog.

My sweet daughter was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I ran my first 10K and half marathon.

My parents celebrated 50 years of marriage and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. 

Oh, and I was fired from my job on April 9, 2012.

Of all the things that happened in 2012, getting fired has been the biggest catalyst. 

I haven't written about getting fired because I was so upset and frustrated. I didn't want to write in anger and appear bitter or vindictive. But, I was both of those things for a long time. The crazy thing about getting let go is that it completely minimizes you. In my case I had no warning and was completely blindsided when I had worked so hard to show my employers how much I wanted to help the company succeed. In the end, though, I wasn't enough...and that's what devastated me. 

Now, though, I can look back and see all the beautiful things getting fired taught me. 

• Getting close to your kids and husband is fulfilling and joyful
• Nurturing talents feeds your soul in a lasting way 
• Personal value is deeper than your career or job
• Meetings are overrated and more often than not—unnecessary
• Focusing on your blessings and helping others will always help you feel happy

Although I wouldn't wish that on anyone, I am grateful for the lessons I've learned about life, about human nature and about what's really important. I'm ready now and looking forward to the lessons of 2013.

Mid-Watercolor, A Work in Progress

Here's what a watercolor painting looks like when it's a little more than halfway done.

This one is part of a series of paintings I'm doing of children at play. This painting is of my two youngest at the lake in Antioch, Illinois this past summer.

Anyone know of a place where I could display paintings like this?

Everyday Artist

Last year on my birthday, I made a goal to draw every day. It's been nearly a year and I have four notebooks full of drawings, and a few watercolor sketches. Sometimes I left the drawing to the last minute when I was so tired I could only put a few scratches on the page.

Leaving a task you care about to the very last minute doesn't work—you never do a very good job with it nor give it your full attention. Hurried work made me feel disappointed and dissatisfied. I started to just skip the drawing if I didn't get it in before I was dragging myself to bed. I also learned that it's more important to do the work rather than do amazing work. The act of doing was the journey and the practice that has helped me improve.

Quick watercolor sketch at Liberty Park

After nearly ten months of drawing I feel more confident about my skills as an artist. I even added artist to my description of myself in the "About Me" section on this blog. I have taken assorted classes in drawing, watercolor, 3D, sculpture and design...but I always felt less than because I lacked formal training.

Now, I know that the formal training is just that: formal. I prefer to be informal about nearly everything, so that kind of learning suits me just fine. I'm okay with not being perfect at this and I'm open to learning from people like Kathy Ross, a self-taught 3D artist who sells her sculptures for a living. I met Kathy last year at the Utah Arts Festival. I asked her if she'd mentor me and teach me a little of how she does what she does. She agreed to and we've been in communication off and on ever since.

I'll would love some feedback, thoughts, and suggestions on my art.