Lessons in Motherhood

In the 16 years that I've been a mother, I've learned a few things.

• You may not get publicly acknowledged for your excellent work at home, but once in a while you'll go to bed truly happy and satisfied for the loving service you gave your family.
• You'll never know as much as your teenagers. Ever.
• Your children are precious beyond any job you could ever hold.

 What motherhood lessons have you learned?

Thanks to former Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson, Honesty Counts

A mere four months after Scott Thompson became the Yahoo CEO, he was given the boot. The reason? His resume states that he has a degree in marketing and computer science. The marketing part was right.  The computer science part was not.

Yahoo has been going through their fair share of company problems and their stock prices have been plummeting for four years. According to the Associated Press, the company botched an opportunity to sell to Microsoft at $33 per share in May of 2008 or $47.5 billion. Since September of 2008, the company's stock prices haven't gone above $20. Monday, Yahoo stock closed at $15.50 — which means that the company now has a market value of $19 billion.

Full disclosure: I borrowed this image from this blog about Stephen King's encouragement to be honest, in his book On Writing.

Whether you follow the stock market or not, you know that honesty is the best policy. If there's one person who isn't honest at the top of a company, the time of reckoning isn't a question of if, but when. Someone, somewhere with a bit of guts and a thirst for truth will pinpoint the unethical practices of a company's leader(s) — no matter how seemingly insignificant, and the results will be similar to what happened to Scott Thompson.

You could point to the wacky hedge fund manager who wanted to be on the board so badly that he exposed the inaccuracy on Scott Thompson's resume, the directionless board of trustees who OK any big changes in the company, or the seemingly unstoppable progress of Google's world domination for the decline in Yahoo's market share. But, the fact remains that the company has gone through four CEO's in five years. When a company doesn't have a strong leader and makes too many hasty decisions, they're bound to fail. Add to that the complication of dishonesty and the company becomes a ticking time bomb.

Honesty may not always be popular, but you'll sleep better and you'll likely not lose your job for it.

More reading on this story here and here.

Talking to Strangers

At the grocery store I smiled at the checkout lady and she asked how I was doing. We’ve seen each other hundreds of times. I don’t know her name and she doesn’t know mine. However, when I come to the grocery store with a tiny baby, she’ll probably write a story in her head about me, if she hasn’t already.

I’ve been writing stories in my head about the people I see all the time, but don’t know, since my college days.  I even give some of these familiar strangers nicknames to match the story I imagine their life to be. I work out at the same gym I’ve been working out at for the last ten years. The familiar people I’ve seen there all have personas in my mind, life stories that match how I see them. We’ve never spoken, but we smile at each other as if to say, “Hi. I’m busy working out, but I see you there.”

After meeting one of these familiar people at a really fancy dress gala — discovering that she wasn’t the corporate human resources worker I imagined (she’s a professor at a prestigious local college) — I decided to start talking to people. I got to know that the guy I called Washed-up Rock Star is actually named Jon and he was in a band, once upon a time. I found out the woman I called Over-achiever Mom, is an aerobics instructor and, yes, a mother of four young children.

The only drawback to getting to know these people I have shared only workouts and no conversation with for years? My workouts have become a bit less productive. I talk more and work out less…because now, I know everyone and they know me.

How many places do you go frequently enough to recognize the same people over and over…yet, you never talk? What would your life be like if you opened your mouth and talked to them?

A Big Move Changes More Than Your Address

I found out yesterday that my older sister will be moving to the Boston area in the spring. Her husband just landed a job in Maynard, Massachusetts and their whole brood (six kids!) will be leaving Utah after he finds them a house. 

When I was seven years old, my parents moved our big family from Heber City, Utah to Windham, Maine. My dad went out first and all of us followed shortly after. Just like what will happen with my sister and her family. I guess history repeats itself in our family.

I remember how excited I was about the move, the train ride across the country, and the adventure of living in a new place. Adjusting to a whole new way of life, new culture, and climate was a big part of what shaped me as a person. I loved it. I'm sure many of my older siblings didn't enjoy it nearly as much as I did. They had to start all over in a new school where most of the kids had known each other since kindergarten. When you're at an awkward age, from about age 12 to 15, moving across the country is akin to running naked in front of your peers.

We survived, though. 

The move opened our eyes to new ways of thinking, the great outdoors, and how to deal with change. We all learned really quickly that our way of seeing things wasn't the norm. Most of all, we grew closer as a family. 

Seeing my sis move has me feeling sad and nostalgic. Sad that we won't be 20 minutes away from each other any more and nostalgic for that exhilarating feeling you get when you make a big move. Sometimes big moves are tough at first, but can turn out to be a positive character-shaping experience.  

Healthy Recipe for Sweet & Salty Roasted Almonds

Easy, tasty (and healthy) gifts

'Tis the season to eat sugar. If you haven't indulged in sweets before now, the temptation might be overwhelming. You might rationalize that fudge or sugar cookie by telling yourself, "It's only for the holidays...I'll get back on track after New Year's." When the New Year rolls around, you might wish you hadn't eaten all that junk. So, why not just find something that will keep you healthy and happy?

After swearing off white sugar over two and half years ago, I have trained myself to look at the prevalence and abundance of sugary treats as opportunities to find creative alternatives. I've always been a fan of agave because it doesn't spike your blood sugar (being very low on the glycemic index). So, if you're hankering for something lightly sweet and crunchy without the headaches and tummy aches that tend to accompany the ingesting of too much processed treats, here's an easy recipe I recently made up.

You'll need:
1 pound of raw almonds
Olive oil
Agave
Ground cinnamon
Ground cloves
Sea salt
Wax paper

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Toss almonds with 1-2 Tablespoons of the olive oil in a large bowl. Sprinkle about 1 teaspoon cinnamon and a dash of cloves over mixture and stir.  Drizzle 1/2 cup agave syrup over mixture and stir until well coated. Sprinkle with about 1-2 tsp (depending on how salty you like things) sea salt and mix well.

Spread the almond mixture onto a wax paper lined cookie sheet. Place in oven for 15 minutes. Stir and return to the oven for another 15 minutes or until fragrant.

Remove from the oven and let cool. Enjoy!

How to deal with pre-teen hormones, and braces — at the same time

My sweet and quirky daughter, Lucy just started seventh grade this year. She's been begging for braces and hoping for breasts. If she reads this, she'll kill me.

I can't hasten the breast fairy, but I can do something about her teeth.

Tip 1: Make decisions based on things within your control.

By a happy coincidence, one of my college friends is a practicing orthodontist. Before he was Glen Bills the uber-professional teeth straightener who now has more letters behind his name than I ever will, he was my college buddy and most recently my Facebook friend

We came into his office to discuss Lucy's mouth. He talked about palatalexpanders and shifting teeth around and I got nervous. Lucy got excited. Our next step was to set an appointment for Dr. Bills' staff to take “impressions” of her teeth and to put spacers in. I didn’t think Lucy needed more space in her teeth, since she had a big gap between her front ones. Dr. Bills explained that spacers are little rubber bands squished in between her back molars to make room for the palatal expander.

Lucy said the spacers made her feel like she had a big chunk of food stuck in between her back teeth —uncomfortable and annoying (one of her favorite words). I gave her ibuprofen and hoped she wouldn't yank them out. 

Tip 2: Choose your battles. Sometimes that means trusting that your pre-teen will do the right thing.

A week later, she would get her braces. I was nervous, and so was she. This is the kind of kid who gets irritated if her nails are too short or her sweater is itchy. The thought of having her cope with wiring (especially the palatal expander) in her mouth made us both anxious.

When we arrived and everyone seemed genuinely excited to see Lucy and that put us both at ease. She brushed her teeth for the third time that morning and settled in. Aubrey, one of Dr. Bills’ assistants took the impressions and prepared the brackets on her teeth. Dr. Bills placed and adjusted the brackets, then fine-tuned them to make sure everything was set for optimal straightening.

An hour and a half later, Lucy left with a metal mouth. She seemed happy and even told me how nice Dr. Bills smelled. 

The next three days were pretty rough, though. She was pretty uncomfortable and couldn't bite down on anything. I stocked up on pudding, cup o' soups, and ingredients for smoothies. She alternated between sullen and sobbing to cranky and snappy. What's the difference, you ask? Not much, except neither mood is fixable by a parent. 

Dr. Bills called to check on her. He said her mouth tenderness was typical and would subside gradually. He also told me to alternate ibuprofen and acetaminophen. Lucy, in her typical melodramatic was convinced I had sadistically subjected her to this suffering. 

Tip 3: Have a sense of humor and learn to ride out the false accusations hurled at you.

A day later, her mouth felt fine and she was telling me all about her other friends and their braces, how they had callouses inside their cheeks and that was cool. I can already see how much straighter her teeth are and she knows that's making her even more pretty. So, straight teeth or bust — I guess it’s straight teeth for now.

Relief for the Stomach Bug

Our family has run the gamut of stomach illnesses lately. Looking back now, I think we all may have had stomach flu. Everyone in my family seemed to get a version of a nasty tummy virus. My toddler, Jane, woke from a nap in a bed of vomit. If you've ever had sick toddler, you know the difficulties that presents. They're mobile, they don't know how to puke into the toilet, and they can't communicate what's going on inside their little bodies. I think she puked in every room and on enough clothing and bedding for at least three loads of laundry and countless baths (for both of us).

I was beside myself trying to figure out what I could give her to keep her from throwing up when she started getting really bad diarrhea. You know the kind that diapers are no match for, the kind that can't be contained? More laundry and sanitizing. Then, in spite of my precautions, I got sick. I quickly grabbed some DigestZen essential oil from doTerra, put some drops into water and drank it down, which prevented me from throwing up. It didn't prevent horrible stomach cramps and mind-bending diarrhea, though.

For help, I phoned my sister who is married to a naturopath and has six kids. She has been through every strain of contagious stomach viruses out there and she's in the know when it comes to natural cures that work. I tried her recommendations and, thankfully, they helped us all get over our illnesses quickly.

Here are a few of the remedies she recommended that are safe from toddler-age (18 months+) to adult sickies:

To prevent nausea:

doTerra's DigestZen essential oil blend: this can be rubbed on the soles of feet, on the stomach, and taken internally by diluting in water.

Hard to believe, but this black stuff works.

Hyland's Ipecacuanha (available at health food stores): these are small tablets that dissolve easily in the mouth. I gave my toddler two every four hours.

To prevent or stop diarrhea:
(all products below are available at health food stores):

Activated Charcoal: these come in gel capsules and can be swallowed whole. My sister told me that the charcoal is tasteless and attaches to e coli bacteria (the bad stuff that makes you sick) in the bowel. Getting a toddler to take them proves pretty difficult, but she told me a trick of  blending the charcoal into no bake cookies. I told my toddler they were "baby treats."

They are tasty and my toddler ate them up! Remember, babies under one year of age shouldn't have honey. If your baby is under one, substitute the honey with agave.

Here's the recipe:

1/4 cup natural nut butter (I used Adam's Peanut Butter)
4 Tablespoons honey or agave
1/2 cup crisp rice cereal
2 Tablespoons nonfat dry milk
1/2 cup shredded coconut (I used unsweetened coconut)
3 tablets or capsules of activated charcoal

Combine peanut butter, activated charcoal, nonfat dry milk and honey (or agave). This will make a black mixture (I told my kids it was chocolate). Then, mash in the crisp rice and form 3/4" balls. Roll the cookie balls in shredded coconut. These can be stored in the fridge for a week or more.


Hyland's Arsenicum Album: these are small tablets that dissolve in the mouth. I gave my toddler two, but she preferred the "baby treats."

Gummy vitamins: I didn't try this remedy, but my sister told me that the gelatin in the gummies helps to get rid of diarrhea. She said it worked well for her and her kids don't have any objections to taking them  when and if they decide that the charcoal-laced cookies are too weird.

If these work for you, let me know. If you have any other remedies that work, post them or a link to your blog with the remedies you like best for yourself and your family.