Where in the World is Pam?

I haven't blogged here in so long, I almost forgot I had it! Now I'm busy over at my new site where I am posting my art. I have a blog there, too, so join me over there and subscribe to my newsletter for parental musings and the latest from my art studio. You can also find me on Instagram @pam_baumeister -- I'd love to connect with you there, too!

Participate in Life

In the interest of managing my time better and making sure I'm more fully engaged with the people around me, I deleted the Facebook app from my iPhone.

Since I handle the social media at work, I can't completely avoid social media entirely. I see updates and tags and messages, etc. on Facebook but now I don't have easy access to them from my phone at all hours of the day.  I still have Instagram on my phone, but I am slowing down on it and trying to be a bit more judicious with the time I choose to spend on there. 

Maybe you've already seen this video...but, my sister posted this video to her Facebook page I saw today while at work. It speaks volumes about our society and our newest addictions. I also like it because it rhymes.  

Do you think our "looking down" at our devices keeps us from interacting? What steps are you taking to connect more in real life with the world around you?

Invisible Suffering

A month ago, I was struggling with balance and leg weakness. Most people didn't notice, except for when I attempted to wear high heels to church. Wobbles-ville. I felt like I was stumbling around with a leaden left leg.

Often, the symptoms of MS aren't noticeable. If you're wondering what some of these invisible symptoms might be, or what's really going on inside someone with MS, watch this.

In my church, one of my favorite hymns states, "in the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see." That verse is ever present in my mind when I now look at others who may appear to be well put together. We all have a sad story to tell. Most of us don't show it on our face or even in our body. But, I can assure you, it's there. The beauty of what I've learned is that there is so much to be happy for in life and when you stop to cheer someone else along the way, you also benefit.

Take a look at those around you. Treat them with kindness and consideration whether you believe they have it all together or not.

End-of-Year Review

Doing a year-end review is eye-opening. Loads of wonderful things happened in 2012:

The toddler was successfully potty trained.

We took a fun family vacation to Tucson and Phoenix, Arizona for spring break.

My best friend from childhood visited me and we spent a weekend at Snowbird, including a day at the Cliff Spa.

Our family travelled to Chicago for two weeks.

I started running and triathlon training again and competed in my first triathlon after adrenal fatigue.

I painted a lot more and started sharing my art with people on this blog.

My sweet daughter was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I ran my first 10K and half marathon.

My parents celebrated 50 years of marriage and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. 

Oh, and I was fired from my job on April 9, 2012.

Of all the things that happened in 2012, getting fired has been the biggest catalyst. 

I haven't written about getting fired because I was so upset and frustrated. I didn't want to write in anger and appear bitter or vindictive. But, I was both of those things for a long time. The crazy thing about getting let go is that it completely minimizes you. In my case I had no warning and was completely blindsided when I had worked so hard to show my employers how much I wanted to help the company succeed. In the end, though, I wasn't enough...and that's what devastated me. 

Now, though, I can look back and see all the beautiful things getting fired taught me. 

• Getting close to your kids and husband is fulfilling and joyful
• Nurturing talents feeds your soul in a lasting way 
• Personal value is deeper than your career or job
• Meetings are overrated and more often than not—unnecessary
• Focusing on your blessings and helping others will always help you feel happy

Although I wouldn't wish that on anyone, I am grateful for the lessons I've learned about life, about human nature and about what's really important. I'm ready now and looking forward to the lessons of 2013.

Writing or Art?

When I was a teenager, my sister Nanette gave me a book I can't get out of my head. What has stuck with me most from Me: Stories of My Life by Katharine Hepburn was the advice her father gave her in a letter he sent her for her 21st birthday, "try to do one thing well—utilizing the experience of all preceding life and your own wit."

Since then, I've wondered, just what is my "one thing" and how will I know that's the thing to try to do well? I've done a lot of things, but I still ask myself that question.

My husband recently told me that he thought my real talent was watercolor, not writing. So, I ask...for those of you who have read my blog and seen my art. Which is it?

If you've had similar questions and found the answer, I'd love to hear how you figured things out.

In the meantime, here is something I've written that I'm proud of:

Power beyond words

By Pamela Baumeister

Music was Rachel de Azevedo Coleman’s whole life. Growing up in Utah as number five in a musical family of nine, Rachel was surrounded by it. Her father, Lex de Azevedo, was the music director for acts such as the Jackson Five special, “The Sonny & Cher Show” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” He gained fame locally, writing the music for “Saturday’s Warrior.” Rachel, never in the spotlight until after high school, sang and wrote music for her band while expecting her first child, Leah.

“I used to joke that wouldn’t it just be my luck to have a kid that was tone deaf,” Rachel says of her pregnancy. Little did she know that her baby would never hear her mother speak, let alone sing and play the guitar.

Shortly before Rachel and her husband, Aaron, moved to Los Angeles to be close to her sister, Emilie de Azevedo Brown, the couple started noticing something strange about Leah. Women at the grocery store would invariably stop and say “hi” to the adorable tot. At 14 months, Leah would lift her eyebrows, smile and open her mouth. But, no air or sound would come out.

Leah was deaf.

Rachel and Aaron mourned, but they weren’t defeated.

“There was nothing wrong for her. She wasn’t ‘missing out’ — we realized that we needed to learn something new. Maybe we needed to learn to be like her,” Rachel relates.

Signs of progress

The couple learned sign language quickly. So did Leah, who also learned to read at age 2. However, Rachel noticed there were times when Leah was left out.

When Leah was 4 years old and in soccer, Rachel noticed, “The hearing kids in our community were going a different way.” A boy on Leah’s team didn’t want Leah as his partner. She couldn’t “talk or understand” him. Rachel knew things wouldn’t improve.

Taking action, she went to the boy’s preschool and volunteered at story time. She read books and taught the children a few simple signs. At the next soccer practice, the boy signed ‘friend,’ ‘play,’ ‘ball.’ A few signs bridged the gap and, Rachel says, “changed the course of my deaf daughter’s life.”

Through Emilie’s encouragement, the sisters started Two Little Hands Productions, making videos of songs and signs. This was the beginning of “Signing Time,” a show that teaches sign language through music to kids and parents all over the world. The sisters started the venture with next to nothing.

“I was on WIC — we had Social Security — we were scraping by. We couldn’t even pay our rent. I had no idea that we’d be on PBS … I thought if I make these videos, that will change Leah’s world. When Emilie and I did our first video, we didn’t have a loan and now we have a successful, nationally recognized business,” Rachel marvels.

Miraculous sign

Rachel and Aaron decided to have another child. They soon found out that the fetus had water on the brain caused by spina bifida.

“We thought ‘Why us? We don’t even know anything about spina bifida!’” Rachel stopped herself when she realized she felt the same way when they learned Leah was deaf. “Maybe it is the same and there’s nothing wrong — it’s just different than we expected.”

Rachel and her unborn daughter underwent in-utero surgery to repair baby Lucy’s spine. Nine months after a successful birth, Lucy was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

“They told us that she was retarded. She would lie on her back and stare — she couldn’t use her body in any way,” remembers Rachel.

Rachel wrote a song when Lucy was two called “Show Me A Sign.” It was her prayer for Lucy to prove the doctors wrong. Shortly after that song was written, Lucy signed “more.”

“I was stunned. After another nine months, she learned to speak. And now she speaks and signs and happens to be in a wheelchair. She is an inspiration to other kids. She gets 100 percent on her spelling tests and is in every ‘Signing Time’ show.”

One language

Rachel’s drive to make a difference in the lives of her children is now changing lives worldwide.

Rachel, Aaron, Leah and Curry Jones, the founder of non-profit Signs of Hope International, traveled to Ghana, Africa, to teach sign language to a school for deaf children. Rachel and Curry went again for a national conference.

“There’s a social stigma for deaf children, even among the educators. Having Rachel there was an ‘a-ha’ moment for them. They realized — after she got up, spoke and sang — that maybe the deaf can learn,” says Curry. ‘Signing Time’ videos are now used in the deaf school. Curry says of the people Rachel touched by sharing herself and her vision, “The children and teachers think, ‘If this American movie star can sign, so can we.’” She has created a paradigm shift for that area of Africa and it’s spreading.

Curry goes to Africa four or five times a year with Signs of Hope International.

“They talk about Rachel every time. She made quite an impression.”

“I refuse to let my circumstances have me.”

Rachel’s “honesty and candor and her willingness to share this personal experience with people has been not only a tremendous coping tool (for her), but also a tremendous gift (for others),” shares Emilie.

“As women and mothers, we are in a great position to make a difference. We can easily use our circumstances as an excuse to not do what we’ve got the potential to do. I’m sure I have a get-out-of-jail-free card for being depressed and saying ‘my life is really hard.’ I just have circumstances that I don’t expect — but who doesn’t?” muses Rachel.

Emilie says, “She is just like you and me — a woman trying to hold it all together. All the while, she is absolutely committed to changing the world.” 

Here is something I've painted that I'm proud of:

I have several other paintings and drawings posted to this blog, if you feel that you need more to go on for a judgment. Where do you think my talent lies? I won't be offended with your judgment, I just need more than my husband's opinion to consider. I probably won't stop doing either one, but I'll likely focus my efforts on one.

Thanks for your help!

Feeling tired...all the time

These days women are expected to do it all and do it all well. Be an awesome mom — no problem. Have a successful career — absolutely. Drive carpool — sure thing. Inspire others at business seminars — of course. Make meals for new neighbors — yep.  Well, if you're a modern woman, you get it. You've probably got it all handled, right?

Not me.

I haven't been myself for a while. While juggling a super-demanding, high-profile job as an editor (with no staff), being a mom of four daughters, keeping a tidy home, and working out as hard as possible to stay in great shape, I hit the bottom. For more than a year I've been tired almost all the time. I was having a hard time concentrating and felt like I could fall asleep nearly anywhere.

I was planning on competing in a few triathlons this season, but I just couldn't recover after my workouts and I kept getting sick (vertigo, inner ear infection, burst eardrum, pneumonia, etc.).  Feeling frustrated, I went to my doctor. He took my blood pressure and measured it as I went from lying down to standing up. It was unusually low as I lay down, but dropped even lower when I stood up. Then, as I stood there, getting my blood pressure taken every two minutes, I started to feel like I was about to pass out. I quickly laid back down and rested. I felt pretty ridiculous, but my doctor told me that my blood pressure was "yo-yoing" and it couldn't get caught up. He said that's why I got dizzy. I took some tests over the next week and was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue.

My body can't keep up with any stress because it has been under so much stress for so long. Adrenal fatigue isn't something you can see, it's more of how you feel. I felt like a zombie much of the time. Now I'm taking supplements for adrenal fatigue and resting more. My doctor has me taking the following:

• Ashwagandha, an herbal supplement that helps with stress and supports adrenal function
• PharmaGABA, a natural supplement that produce alpha brain waves (the same ones your brain produces when it's relaxes, yet alert)
• EPA/DHA oil (high-quality marine oil) 
• Multi-vitamin for women with lots of B vitamins included

Adrenal fatigue is fixable, but it does take some time and lifestyle changes. Some of the changes I've made: a better job with more autonomy and support, frequent meditation, letting things roll off my back when my kids start blaming me for their problems, and doing something artistic every day. I've committed myself to drawing everyday for a year. Where normal people with healthy adrenal function can receive stress relief from a good, hard workout — my doctor told me that hard workouts actually create more stress for my body. So, I've been doing more yoga and easy walks.

If you're feeling tired and sleep doesn't make you feel any better, you may want to talk to a naturopathic physician. My doctor, Dr. Todd Cameron, could probably recommend someone for you if you don't live close enough to visit him.

Nutritional Heretic

When I tell people I don't eat sugar, I get a mixture of reactions. Some people are astounded that I have that kind of self control. (Anyone could do it, if they really wanted to do it.)  Some people are incredulous, saying that I really am eating sugar if I'm eating fruit. Some people just downright think I'm crazy, like I'm a nutritional heretic or some sort of puritanical food snob.

Deep down, I think, most people I talk to about my decision understand why I want to avoid processed sugar. Sugar is addictive, it wreaks havoc on your body's metabolism, immune system, and appetite. Those who can't control themselves around a plate of brownies, frothy root beer float, bowl of icecream, bag of chocolate covered almonds, or a display of pretty little cream-filled donuts/cupcakes know the feeling. Those things, while indulgent and sinfully delicious will never fill you up, at least not completely. Sure you could eat them until you feel full (done that), but you always feel bad after you eat them. Right?

A recipe I wrote in fourth grade (I think) — sugar was my life!

I got to the point where I'd eat sugary stuff until I felt bloated and sick. (Like the time I polished off a whole dish of brownies. Myself.) Then, I'd feel guilty. Then, I'd want to go to the gym and work it all off. Which never really helped, because I'd always manage to wander over to the scale and feel even worse that the scale's numbers were going the wrong direction. Or, all that sugar had given me a headache, which made me not want to work out in the first place. If I actually got to the gym, my workout would be both sluggish and pointless.

So, sue me. Call me a food snob. Look down on me while you savor your sweets. Mock me if you must. I have to do this for my own sanity, health, and waistline. I can't go back to how I felt when sugar was a part of my life. I was a beast on the stuff...and I'm beastly enough without the help of sugar's weird control over me.

Making it Stick: Resolutions that Last

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
-  Author Unknown

When each New Year starts, do you think up a long list of resolutions? Do those resolutions ever come true?

I'm a list maker. I write everything down. A lot of people use their mobile devices or computers to keep track of things they need to get done. Not me. I like seeing my own handwriting with goals and to-do's  written in each page of my planning journal. This January, I made this vision board. I've done vision boards before, but this year is different. I'm writing down my goals associated with each item on my board. This way, I can both look at the pictures, words, and my own handwritten processes to get there.

Every new year is a time of hope and expectation. If you have dreams to make things happen this 2011, here’s a formula to reach this year's goals. I've borrowed here from the inspiring mind of Zig Ziglar.

1.    Write it down. Record that goal on paper. (I added another visual element with a vision board.)
2.    Put a date on it.  Record when you’ll complete or accomplish the goal.
3.    List the obstacles in your way for completing your goal.
4.    Identify those people or groups you need to work with to accomplish your goal.
5.    Spell out a plan of action to reach the goal.
6.    Ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?” Identify and define the benefits of reaching this goal. (Put those pictures and words of the end result on your vision board. Those images can be very motivating.)

Zig says, “If you know the formula, you’ll reach the goal.” I believe him. We have the whole year before us. Reaching for a worthy goal can be a life-changing experience. Start it now.

Value of Restraint

“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter 

I've thought a lot about this concept. I've been guilty of shooting off my mouth (or an email) when I'm angry. My last post written to Home Depot was done after the heat of anger had cooled. But, it still comes off as maybe a bit more harsh than it should have been. However, I still got the result I was looking for: awareness and a reaction from Home Depot themselves. 


Since I'm in a career that is largely in the public eye, I deal with a lot of complaints. Women are not shy about voicing their frustrations and disappointments. I can type in the word "disappointment" in my search window in my email client and find at least four or five emails from women who were disappointed in something I was a part of — an ad that ran in the magazine for which I run, a shirt that didn't fit or a detail that was omitted from a story that the reader felt was vital. In many cases, I had to make a judgment call and knew I'd make at least a few people frustrated.


When you're in the heat of anger, though, rattling off an email or calling to rant at the offender about how disappointed you are often comes back to bite you. 


The other day I received two nasty, angry emails. I calmly replied that I'd see what I could do to resolve the situation, then separately called both parties. In both cases, I was met with chagrin.


One person said, "I'm sorry. I probably should have waited to send that [email] to you. Now that I look at the situation, I realize it's no big deal."


I think we can all learn a lesson in restraint. When you're angry. Wait.


Wait some more.


Then, think as you write your letter or email to the person with which you're angry. Think about what you want to say to them before you say it. Then wait some more before sending it or saying it. Re-read what you write aloud and determine if it's worth sending. You'll save yourself a lot of regret and shame if you handle yourself with restraint. 


The old adage "an ounce of prevention" certainly applies in these cases. I certainly appreciate it when I'm on the receiving end of someones disappointment.

Funeral for a Friend

Today I attended a funeral for a man in my neighborhood. We went to church together and worked on several activities. I didn't know Bill very well, but I thought highly of him. He didn't tell many people that he was sick, nor did he ask for any attention once people knew about his quickly deteriorating condition. He thought more about others than he did about himself.

At his funeral several people spoke about all the kindness and service Bill was always doing while he was alive.  They spoke of his skills as a chef and gardener, how he loved to bring by little gifts and leave them without any recognition or fanfare. One neighbor recounted how he left a brand new barbecue grill on his front porch — as a gift. The widows and single women in his building knew he was their watchdog. Bill made them feel safe.

He didn't solve any major world problems, didn't leave behind a family, didn't know a lot of people either. He was quiet, simple, and humble. But, Bill left a lot of positive impression on those who knew him.

I thought about what was said about Bill at his funeral and started to think about what will be said at mine. In the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey the second habit states, "Begin with the end in mind." Covey encourages you to write down what you want people to say about you at your own funeral. He then goes on to point out that you should live your life in such a way as to be worthy to have those things said of you. I wrote things I wanted said at that point, several years ago, but attending this funeral today has me re-assessing what I would want said about me.

Here are a just a few:

From my kids:

• She built us up, believed in us and made us a priority. We knew we were important to her.
• She was loving, caring, fun and affectionate.
• She was a great example of how to treat others.

From my spouse:

• She was a great listener.
• She loved me and showed that love frequently.
• She was fun to be with and made us all laugh.
• She kept us all together and focused on being close knit.

From my friends:

• She had strong moral values, but never made you feel like she thought she was better than you.
• She loved her family very much.
• She had a positive attitude that was contagious. 
• She was a problem-solver and helped me solve many of my own problems.

If you could write your own eulogy, what would it say? What would your family and friends say about you?