Where in the World is Pam?

I haven't blogged here in so long, I almost forgot I had it! Now I'm busy over at my new site where I am posting my art. I have a blog there, too, so join me over there and subscribe to my newsletter for parental musings and the latest from my art studio. You can also find me on Instagram @pam_baumeister -- I'd love to connect with you there, too!

Participate in Life

In the interest of managing my time better and making sure I'm more fully engaged with the people around me, I deleted the Facebook app from my iPhone.

Since I handle the social media at work, I can't completely avoid social media entirely. I see updates and tags and messages, etc. on Facebook but now I don't have easy access to them from my phone at all hours of the day.  I still have Instagram on my phone, but I am slowing down on it and trying to be a bit more judicious with the time I choose to spend on there. 

Maybe you've already seen this video...but, my sister posted this video to her Facebook page I saw today while at work. It speaks volumes about our society and our newest addictions. I also like it because it rhymes.  

Do you think our "looking down" at our devices keeps us from interacting? What steps are you taking to connect more in real life with the world around you?

Permission to Cross Things Off Your List

A blog devoted to over-achiever parents:
 http://elfontheshelfideas.com

A trendy new Christmas tradition for parents with young children has popped up. It involves purchasing a doll and book called The Elf on the Shelf. Apparently, this all-seeing-elf doll keeps an eye on kids during the daylight hours and flies home every evening to Santa Claus to report how each child is behaving. Someone came up with yet another way for parents to bribe kids (or scare them, perhaps?) into behaving like perfect little angels so come Christmas morning they will score more loot from St. Nick.

Creative parents even orchestrate scenes filled with intrigue, humor or mystery involving  their family elf. At recess on the days before winter break kids will talk about what their individual Christmas spies did that morning. It is the new thing. Conversation starters like, "How do you think my elf got into the fridge," or "What did your elf bring you," or "Is your elf a boy or a girl?" are heard in elementary schools all over our city.

A mom friend at work recently asked me if I participate in the Elf on the Shelf tradition at my house. She wasn't pressuring me, just gauging how committed I am to keeping up on the trends. After I told her I can barely keep up with my Tooth Fairy duties, she confessed how many times she has woken up in a state of panic that her kids would wake to an elf that had not moved. She lived in fear that neither she nor her husband had moved the cherubic goody two shoes the night before…and wished, out loud, that she had never caved in to getting one.

No one should ever be in a panic over moving a doll or anything else that isn't truly an emergency. In fact, I copied a quote on a Post-It™ years ago to which I refer to when things get hectic, or when my nine-year-old asks why we don't have an Elf on the Shelf.

"Reduce life down to what's precious and the necessary. In a world of complexity, the best weapon is simplicity."

Learning to reduce is a challenge. Asking yourself what is precious and what is necessary frequently presents a tough choice. However, those tough choices become easier with time. I rarely choose an outside activity on a weeknight after a day at the office when I can instead spend time with my family. Spending time with family always takes precedence.

At the end of your life, are you really going to feel bad if you didn't try every recipe you pinned on Pinterest? Are you going to wish you had handmade more neighbor gifts for every holiday? Will you pine over all the stuff you never had?

As the New Year kicks off, think of the most important things, not just things to add to your "stuff to do" checklist. Whether eliminating things like the Elf on the Shelf, or not participating in every activity to which you're invited (whether you want to go or not), start thinking about what's precious and what's necessary and wield your sword of simplicity proudly.

Life changer

Yes, I know it's been nine months since I posted anything. Why would I choose to post on my blog now of all times? No...I did not have a baby. No, I don't have fabulous tips for making an easy holiday meal (well, maybe I do: book a reservation at your favorite restaurant and burn scented candles at home. Boom!) No one died either (well a friend's husband did, but he was close to 100 and nearly perfect).

Yesterday I received a diagnosis of MS.

My older sister was with me and helped me through the experience as best as she could. She also offered to write a letter to my family and act as a buffer. So, I'm posting her letter here...since I'm sure there will be questions.

First, here's a photo of my 40th birthday weekend in July 2013, since that was right before the symptoms started. Good times.


Here's what my sister wrote to my family:

I hope that you are all doing well.  I'm writing per Pam's request.  I attended a doctors appointment with her this morning to see a Neurologist specializing in Multiple Sclerosis.    Pam has been experiencing some troubling symptoms for a couple months now.  Dr. Foley was very thorough with his exam and his review of a MRI taken a couple months ago when she started having some foggy vision.  That and the numbness, tingling, weakness in limbs, hypersensitivity to heat/cold on one side of her body and lesions on her brain all led him to diagnose Pam as having Multiple Sclerosis.  As you can imagine this is very difficult news to hear and Pam took it as well as could be expected.   

"MS is an autoimmune disease where your immune system attacks your central nervous system (CNS) by mistake. This attack damages myelin, the coating that protects nerve fibers in the brain, spinal cord, and eyes. When these nerve fibers become damaged, they lose the ability to send signals that help you think, move, or see."

(If you would like to find out more about Multiple Sclerosis, you can find a very informative video here: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/what-we-know-about-ms/what-is-ms/index.aspx)

Pam will be undergoing some immediate treatment and further tests to first, mitigate the symptoms of the disease, and second, to determine the aggressiveness of her MS (it's different for everyone).  She started on a course of steroidal infusions this afternoon and will have those for another 2 days.  She'll be getting another MRI done but this time on her spinal cord to determine if there are lesions on that as well as on her brain.   There are other tests too, and I'll gladly tell you about them if you ask. (Note: blood work and eye exams.)

You may feel overwhelmed by this information and want to help but not know how.  Pam will need our love and support as she navigates through learning how this will impact her life.  Right as this very moment however, she's still grieving.    It would be most helpful, if for the first few days we give Pam time to process the emotions and reactions to this news, and refrain from calling her to inquire about it.   Flowers, cards, email messages and texts (without expecting a reply) I'm sure would help to buoy her spirits.  If you have any questions about what going on, I'd love to talk with you about it, so give ME a call!   Please just don't call Pam right now.  She needs some time.

-------

And, I do. I'll blog more about it as things progress.

Love to you all!

How to Stay Married

My husband and I just celebrated 19 years of marriage. We've been through a lot together.  We fell in love and got married nearly a year later and had no idea what we were in for — most notably, how much our relationship would evolve and change, especially when we added kids into the mix. What

I've learned about staying married:

1. Put each other first
2. Laugh — a lot
3. Listen to each other and give each other your full attention
4. Play...have fun together
5. Do little things for each other that show you care, like you did when you were dating
6. Kiss and hug
7. Don't entertain the idea that there's a "way out" — marriage and parenthood teach you how to be a more selfless person...and we all need that
8. Tell them often how much you appreciate them

I'm the luckiest girl alive to have my husband in my life; he's my best friend, my counselor, my editor, my lover, my cheerleader, my handyman, my one true love, my support, my other half, my strength...

Here's the most important tip: Give more than you expect to get in return

Mid-Watercolor, A Work in Progress

Here's what a watercolor painting looks like when it's a little more than halfway done.

This one is part of a series of paintings I'm doing of children at play. This painting is of my two youngest at the lake in Antioch, Illinois this past summer.

Anyone know of a place where I could display paintings like this?

I'm Running Scared, So Should You

Haunted houses are not my thing. I'm way too low-maintenance to have a cool Halloween party, either. My idea of a good time for Halloween is dressing up the whole family in a theme and running a Halloween race, followed by our own mini-flash mob at the finish line as we perform a choreographed Thriller dance. 

My kids have given me blank stares at the suggestion, but I'm sure someone will think it's a great idea. If that someone is you, comment below. If you just want to sign up and run the race, but you have a strict no-dancing-to-Halloween-songs policy after running races, go here.  

If you've never run a race before, try doing the 5K instead and get your little ghouls and goblins to join you. That's what I call some good old-fashioned family fun.

I've been preparing for the 10K by following this training schedule...which is actually for a half marathon. According to that schedule, you should run a 10K at week nine of training. I'm not planning on running a half-marathon until January, but thought I'd try my legs out on my first 10K with this fun Halloween run, the Running Scared 5K and 10K on Saturday, October 27, in Herriman, Utah.

Both the 5K and 10K start at 10am and promise to be great races, with plenty for the whole family to do afterwards: things like face painting, games, prizes and some sweet medals for finishers ages 7 and up. Kids under 7 are welcome to participate, too, but won't receive a finisher's medal or race shirt.

Register now for either race -- there won't be any day-of-race registration. Organizers will take registrations until October 25, so gather your coven of creepers and sign up! To register, you'll pay $30 for the 5K, and $35 for the 10K. Running in costume: priceless.

P.S. Oh, yeah...and sometimes they give away free entries and/or discounts for registration on their Facebook page, right here.

Go here for more information.

My Non-Negotiable: Family Dinner

When asked to name one of my strengths recently, my oldest daughter told me, "you always make sure we have healthy food and that we always eat dinner together." I never thought that was a strength.  I assumed that family dinner happened nightly for most families. After asking my girls about their friends' families I found out that it was a rarity, not the standard. 

What? 

Is it true that families don't eat dinner together these days? Are people in such a hurry in their lives that they can't make the time to gather and sit down at a family meal anymore?

Although our dinner time fluctuates from day to day based on what activities we have, I make sure that my kids know dinner time is family time and therefore sacred time. We aren't allowed to have any electronic devices at the table. If your phone buzzes or rings, you're not allowed to pick it up. Crazy, but good.

Dinner time is different than any other meal. We start with a quick read from the scriptures and a kneeling family prayer. We take turns listening to each other. Everyone talks about their day, if they want to share. We ask about their favorite part of the day and usually have a few good laughs. We discuss current events, social situations, difficulties at school or work, small successes, funny stories and plans for the future. Some of our favorite times happen after everyone is finished eating, but stays at the table because we're having such a good time together. Those moments are golden.

Most of the time it's not perfect, though. Often we have interrupting, kicking, poking, shoving, crying, stealing food from someone else or taking seconds without asking if anyone else wants more. Family life at its finest.

But, we keep trying.

Family dinner time is the best opportunity to teach my kids how to be gracious, polite, kind, patient, tolerant and well-mannered people.

Kids need their parent's undivided attention more than ever these days. Dinner time is the best time to do that. No TV, no smart phones, no distractions — just a good meal with those we love best in the world.

Do you have family dinner? If not, why?